OK, so here’s my confession. And it’s particularly apropos after Kev’s post (which I will read in more detail when I have time!) You see it doesn’t really ever occur to me that people would be interested in hearing about ME, (though Miki assures me that is quite untrue) or even in my opinions about things. My little family, and certainly my two teenage boys do not express much interest at all, probably because they think they know all there is to know. Makes sense.) I do wonder what it would be like to be famous, like Oprah and think that the whole world is interested in you. But I don’t think I’d like that – all that positive and negative attention – all those people thinking they know you. Who is the you that they know? Not the me that I know and am interested in. (Obviously I’m not the performer type and than heaven there are those types in the world!
I have a close friend who’s into astrology and we’re both Pisces of a similar sort. We can easily merge with that ecstatic creative energy of consciousness and are endlessly “entertained” by it. We can also experience that same energy in others most of the time. However, when it comes to being a particular personality in this world and promoting ourselves in some kind of ego way, of marketing our skills or whatever,. . . well it’s hard because in a sense there’s nobody there to market. Other people see “it” but we don’t.
For that reason, here I am, showing up for my CAfe Crem buddies, invisible to myself and hopefully not to you. I just started a painting this morning which I will share with you now because it so speaks to my own process. I actually was just playing around (the ego directed painting rarely works for me), putting some paint and ink down for a background for figure drawing tonight. But I do believe it’s a self portrait.