Café Crem

Art, Music and Words around The Coffee Table

A Man is a Woman is a Man…

 By Miki

I have lived all my life in an almost strictly man´s world. I was the youngest sister of 2 brothers, and as child I lived between two houses full of boys, no girls. Consequently I only played with boys and I was even given special dispensation to attend a boys school because I couldn´t stand to be surrounded by girls!

As an adult my studies of mathematics and physics, and later my work, immersed me in a world totally dominated by men. Even the sports I loved were at that time practised almost exclusively by men, and all my friends were men.

Today I think I can say that I have a very deep understanding of the male nature, and I must say that how men really are is very different from how one currently says they are. And sometimes I even have the feeling that what one generally calls the feminine side corresponds much more to the masculine side, and vice versa.

Let us speak about the so called softness and irrationality of women. Those who have experienced women in business, especially in leading positions, will know what I mean. As soon as they have enough power, they are much harder and much more rational than men in the same leading positions. And not because, like many people think, they have to work twice so hard to prove themselves. It simply corresponds to their true nature.

I find it logical. It is only the extension of leading a family. It is, or it was, the woman who held everything and everybody together in the family and in their social environment. The unassailable position of the Matriarch. To do that you have to be hard and rational, if not it leads to chaos. To lead a company is nothing different, it is just the same on a bigger scale. I have lead an industrial company myself, and I had a lot of interaction with male leaders, and I can tell you: they were all much less rational, softer and in fact weaker than me. When I mean weaker, I refer to a very special point: men are much more susceptible to influence, much more responsive to things like blackmail and seduction, which makes them less responsible towards their company (and well, their families…).

To be honest: I wouldn´t want my boss to be a woman, nor my country run by a woman. Women scare me. I am a woman myself, and as such, I know what we are capable of… as simple as that!

But please, Ladies from Cafe Crem, don´t run away, for the first time in my life I am here part of a community of mixed members, and this is surely the healthiest mix! I believe that deep, totally honest communication between the sexes would lead to a much better world. so let us start here!


February 19, 2008 - Posted by | Art, culture, friends, life, men, personal, random, Vive le difference, women, writing | , , ,


  1. Miki, for some reason I had not seen this excellent post. What a great writer you are! And you make a lot of sense. Warmly, Psych

    Comment by psychscribe | February 19, 2008

  2. Wow, Miki! This really are intriguing and more! I could figure you as a company leader but I didn’t know (or I forgot) about mathematics and physics… Those got out of my life very soon… In my early high school years as an art student I did only one h per week and then none at all… Kind of handicaped when mathematics is involved…

    But for the rest, I think you are right (and I think I have mentioned about Matriarchat somewhere…): I wouldn’t want a woman boss myself! They really are more heartless, more fierce than most man leader, one would say even less “human” (if human mean weakness too)… I know a very nice novel by Robert Merle (one of my prefered writers in French) calles “Les Hommes Proteges” (The Protected Men) where the main theme is who an epidemy (killing exclusivelly men) makes that the US have a woman (lesbian) president and the feminist take power… A small group of men (generally VIP – scientist, artist, etc.) are “protected” in some kind of concentrations camps… And how they elope to…no less… Canada… Very nice, entertaining and more…

    Comment by iondanu | February 19, 2008

  3. Excellent wording and , Miki. I also worked all my professional life hand on hand woth men. I was the only woman chemits or engineer in the departments, etc…

    I guess we all have capabilties of leading and strong and weak spots. I would not like to assign any characteristic to gender, for,… how do we know what is the inlfluence of whet.

    I refer back to the two original paintings and I think that the basic and striking , unmovable reality is that the major and central differences are jsut physical.

    This is getting really interesting.

    Comment by anangeli | February 19, 2008

  4. I have a very different story from you Miki. I am an only child and somehow got all the way to college before I had a real male friend. I always had close relationships with girlfriends and felt very comfortable withthem,and I never played competitive sports because i don’t have a competitive bone in me. Boys were a complete mystery to me and although I would get crushes, I didn’t care for most of them. My dad was a “case” so I figured no one else was like him and I shouldn’t draw any conclusions from him.

    I never wanted to be in charge of anything, and least of all a business. But I am quite aware that now I am the undisputed ruler at home, not only in my immediate but extended family.
    And my God! I’ve had a lot to figure out about boys/men and late in life! I hope I’ve begun to catch up, and at least now I have Miki and the rest of you to help me fill int he gaps.

    Comment by Susan Cornelis | February 19, 2008

  5. @Susan
    So interesting how different our stories are, Susan, almost contrary!
    But we have one thing in common: I haven´t myself a competitive bone in me (wonderful expression!). And I always escaped from the places where a competitive mind where asked. This was the main reason why I left the place where I was studying maths in France, and went to Germany… concerning the sports, the ones I loved were not competitive at all…
    But I loved to be in charge of a business, and I would still do it if was the right business for me, adn of course if I were my own boss… yes, although I am a woman 🙂

    Comment by Miki | February 20, 2008

  6. @ Yolanda (Anangeli)
    Nice to meet another scientist in Cafe Crem… man or woman, it does not make a difference for me! I love science, and most of the scientists I have met in my life were somehow very honest and kind people… well I guess honesty is a requirement to be a good scientist..
    You say the main differences are “just” physical. But for me this is exactly the point! The physical differences are quite brutal, and we are the fruit of our bodies, aren´t we? Well at least as long as I don´ t know better, I consider myself as not more and not less than my body… following this hypothesis, for me the difference between man and woman is enormous, physically, intellectually, emotionally, etc…
    Just consider the sexual anatomy and the way how we have to make love: the man penetrating the woman. Do you really believe that this has NO impact on the psychology of men and women?

    Comment by Miki | February 20, 2008

  7. I love this post, I agree that we do need to bridge communication gaps, we werent naturally created to be alike, but we could try to understand each other more, gender wars can be fun, but sometimes its frustrating and even unfair.

    Comment by supersizeme | February 20, 2008

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