By W.R. Jones
If you want those kiddy gifts; Barbie doll, erector set, little red wagon, etc., go ahead and leave Santa that glass of milk and cookies.
If you want Santa to know you are all grown up and want some big boy toys, leave him a cup of coffee and some drug laced cakes.
Some people bake using precisely measure ingredients, for example, meth labs. I tend to just add a pinch of this and a pinch of that. Since it is nearing the holidays and I’m in a sharing mood I will part with my yellow cake recipe just for the club members. I get a box of yellow cake mix from Vons then I empty out my bathroom cabinet. I put in one blood pressure pill finely ground, one of those horse sized calcium tabs also finely ground, a few advil tabs, a one-a-day vitamin, and some dried out, rock hard, raisins (how did they get in the cabinet?).
Santa gets a buzz from the coffee, strong bones, and gets rid of that headache. I’m expecting a new Harley this Christmas.